Long time ... update!!

I decided that today, I need to write an update for this BLOG because I still love all the posts I created and I would hate to lose it due to lack of connection! It has been nearly 10 years since my last post which I find quite unbelievable and so much has happened in this time! Where do I begin ... We are doing well but life has been challenging in many ways and we've had highs and lows like most people I would imagine have in life - health issues have dominated the challenges especially for my husband, Brad and he remains in a struggle to get through his days at times. He is a wonderful father to our children and an amazing husband to me - I am so thankful and grateful to God for him. Our children are growing up way too fast ... before our eyes, we watch them develop their character and personality every day! We are at the start of the new school year and it's going to be an interesting year for sure! My work is going well thankfully and I'm again, so grateful to God for His provision and for the way in which He sustains my work. Life is such an interesting thing - we all have freedom of choice as to how we want to react and respond to things that happen in life ... God is in control, we are not in control but we do have freedom to choose how we want to be impacted by things because we can choose our reactions and responses even when we don't have control!

Connection

There are times in my life when I have felt so disconnected and on the outer ... it's hard to explain how I feel but I believe that writing about this may be helpful for myself, if not others who may feel the same?! I want to make it clear that whilst this may seem like a "pity party", that is not my intention in writing this ... it is purely observations and an expression of my raw feelings and thoughts.

We all have a need to belong, a need to feel wanted and of value to others and since moving to Perth and basically restarting life here, I have struggled to know and feel this sense of connection. I would like to believe and I know that there are people who care about me here, that if I was to not show up to church regularly, that at least one person may notice my absence and check in with me ... but sadly, that doesn't seem to be the case ... somehow I feel that we are still on the outer. It is also hard not to compare oneself to other newcomers who appear to be welcomed in with a more open, warm way and who appear, for all intents and purposes, to become more connected to the community or should I call them "church family" than we are after 3 years. I had a sad reflection last night when I recounted that in the 3 years that we have been in Perth, we seem to have lost sight of connecting with others on a deeper level. What I mean is that we seem to have a number of superficial acquaintance type "friendships" with people and we really like everyone that we have met and spent time with, but our friendships never seem to be able to move to a mutual and/or more meaningful depth and I don't know why? And it is not for lack of trying to make those connections ... they just don't seem to move beyond the level of being nice acquaintances.

I wondered if it is an age thing ... as we get older, we are less likely or inclined to seek out deep friendships because they take time, energy and a mutual desire to share in each other's lives ... or is it that we are just too busy and too fragile to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and authentic with each other ... either way, I truly believe we are missing out on the value of what could be truly life-enhancing friendships as a result of our inability to connect on anything other than this superficial level.

I've been disappointed throughout my life by people who I considered to be "close" and "dear" friends yet who very easily, it seemed to me, were able to turn their back on me and walk away without even so much as a goodbye ... was this just my mis-perception of their friendship or my imagined depth of friendship ... it seems I have perhaps been misreading people all my life then?

And the thing is that I want more and I expect more from my friendships because I want to give more too ... I've organised dinners at our place, mystery dinners for girls, mission prayer meetings, been involved (for a short period) in women's ministry at church and more ... but it has all been in vain when I wake up on a Sunday morning and can't face going to church because the effort of being superficial is all just too much and I don't have the strength or mental energy to push through anymore ... and moving to another church is not necessarily the answer because I don't want to run away from my problems, I want to face them head on ... even if I feel defeated and directionless at this moment in time.

Living Life on the Edge

Tomorrow, our baby girl, Kaylah will be turning 4 years old and I really can't believe how time has just flown by! It made me contemplate that in essence, we are all living life on the edge of something greater than ourselves more often than I, myself perceive and/or appreciate ... looking at Kaylah, I see that she's on the edge of turning 4 years old ie. no longer being considered a baby, she's on the edge of starting Kindergarten which represents a whole new phase of her life ie. school, she's on the edge of a steep learning curve, she's on the edge of forging new, hopefully life long friendships, she's on the edge of all the potential and capacity she has within her to move in directions that fascinate and interest her, she's on the edge of independence, she's on the edge of separation and ... so much more ... I could go on ...

I'm on the edge of things in my life too and daily I have choices to make about the kind of person I want to be, the life I want to live, the example I want to set for my kids and others around me ... and so much more ... yet above all, if God is not sovereign in my life, then everything is meaningless and without value and intrinsically useless for all of it will pass away.

I recently started learning Memory Verses again and this is my first one ... a challenge no less to put into practical application.

Do Not Love the World

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life[c]—is not from the Father but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (1 John 2 : 15-17)

Are you living on the edge of your life, wondering what it all means? Look to Jesus for hope and peace for when that edge no longer drives you forward, do have assurance of where you will be?

Rachel & Leith's Wedding ... A Tribute to a Beautiful Bride

On Saturday, 22 February 2014, I joined a bunch of my loveliest friends to celebrate the wedding of Rachel Williams and Leith Rapp in Forster ... it was a beautiful wedding - so emotional and heartfelt and I had the privilege of giving a speech on behalf of Rach ... some people missed the wedding for various reasons and asked if I could post what I said so here is my speech ...

******

Good Evening everyone. I’ve been given the privilege of saying a few words about our beautiful bride.

Hebrews 13:2 says "Don’t forget to entertain strangers for in doing so, some may have entertained Angels without knowing it".

About 12 years ago God blessed me with an earthly Angel when I met Rach – an amazing sister in Christ, our lives have been closely intertwined ever since! In preparing this, I felt overwhelmed because I have had so many precious moments of shared laughter, tears, ups and downs, highs and lows, adventures and misadventures with her and there are so many things I want to tell you about Rach but I can’t keep you here all night as there is much partying to be done, so I hope this will capture the heart and essence of Rachel on this very special wedding day!

I would like to congratulate Leith, because although we don’t know each other well, I have to admire his fine taste and perfect choice in a wife of such immeasurable quality and noble character! Rachel’s name spells out her character so let's take a look at what Leith has discovered and what I know to be true of Rachel.

R is for Relationships - Rachel is the most well connected, widely loved and amazing friend to me and so many others! She tirelessly works on building up, and seeking genuine friendships and relationships with her family, her friends, her work mates, the wider church family, and even the homeless old man who came to St Matts looking for someone to tell him not to pee in the garden! Rachel is a devoted friend who always gives the best of herself to others. Her authentic realness keeps her firmly grounded and Leith, you can be sure that she will build and strengthen your relationship as husband and wife on a daily basis. Rachel is all about relationships!

A is for Adventurous - Rachel loves living life to the full and her adventurous spirit is sure to keep Leith on his toes!! From bush camping and 4 wheel driving, Contiki touring abroad, to surfing in the great ocean, riding motorbikes in the back country of Vietnam, partying in exotic places and travelling both near and far , Rach has done it all in style … and sometimes, her style has been colourful at best, and sometimes hilarious at worst! Most times, Rach has brought the party to life and been the life of the party ... Moving interstate twice, and registering her car in 3 different states in 1 year, there is never a dull moment with this Adventurer and now, God has taken her to the red centre to explore more of His great creation! No doubt Rach will take Leith to places in his own backyard that he's never been before ... but before you start thinking something else, I simply mean she is likely to pitch a tent in the backyard for a night under the stars ... Can you picture that right now? Their love story is surely one of the greatest adventures anyone could imagine and God had His work cut out in bringing them together … I can picture God saying “Whew, can’t rely on family connections and the bush telegraph alone any more – thank goodness for technological advances – Internet, FaceBook, Aeroplanes and Cupid’s Chemistry. They finally got the message and found each other and look what happened! Rachel is Adventurous!!

C is for Christ Centred - There are few women who wear their heart on their sleeve like Rach does for all to see and hear, and I for one, believe that we are all so much richer for it. Rachel is a faithful and dedicated follower who has her eyes firmly fixed on Jesus Christ and her steadfast determination to trust in God for all aspects of her life, has been admirable. Whether at work, play or at home, Rachel walks an authentic walk along her faith journey and now, God has so much more in store for her in her role as a wife to Leith and hopefully in time to come, God willing, a mother to beautiful children. Waiting for Mr Right is not always easy or fun, but God blessed Rach with patient endurance, a sense of self-worth and honest self-reflection, and from the moment she met Leith, who is a husband of perfect imperfections, God blessed Rach with a handsome reward, wiping away any moments of self-doubt and loneliness. And all that time and preparation makes this union with Leith that much sweeter and perfectly timed because God’s plan is always for our good. Rach has inspired, encouraged and wisely counselled many who have shared her faith journey. She is a living example of a God loving servant, waiting for her life partner to be prepared for her, and at the same time being moulded and shaped by God in preparation for this very moment! I often think about how many conversations Rach and I have had over the past 12 years – and being a Psychologist myself, I made a rough calculation that if we had charged each other for all the hours of mutual counselling we have shared, we could both probably be retiring right now!! Doh! We would spend hours talking and wondering who God was preparing to take us on for life - and I can testify to knowing that both our husbands are very special, perfectly imperfect and also very lucky men!
Rachel is truly Christ Centred!

H is for Heartfelt Helper - Rachel is the girl next door, neighbour friend that everyone wants and needs - she is the first one to pitch in and help with any activity, event, party and get together that's happening and more importantly, she's the last one who helps clean up at the end of the night … but do you agree with me - I think she can have tonight off! Rach will direct the lost tourist, transport the frail old lady, make delicious dinners for friends and entertain strangers, welcome the homeless, reach out to the lonely, care for the sick and serve the needy and babysit our kids ... Rach is the most heartfelt helper I know and I'm sure we have all received and benefitted from her kindness, helpfulness and hospitality at some point in our lives. She always jumps in boots and all and mucks around in the mud, not afraid to get her hands dirty in any situation and this tells me that she is beautiful on the inside which then shows on the outside to everyone who knows her.
Rachel is a Heartfelt Helper.

E is for Excellent and Effervescent – Rachel’s effervescence draws many people to her and tonight, she is our sparkling bride! She has the ability to make you feel at ease and right at home from the moment you meet her. She is excellent in the art of communication which, is really just a nice way of saying “Rach can talk the hind leg off a donkey if she’s given half a chance!!” But we love her for that too! She is generous with her time, her energy and her passions and she brings an excellence to everything that she does in her own unique Rach kind of way. Her laughter bubbles out of her and rings in your head long after the moment is over or, you’ve both fallen off the chair!
Rachel is Excellent and Effervescent!

L is for Loving and Loyal – Rachel is the most loving and loyal daughter, niece, cousin and friend as I’m sure her parents, her family and all of you would agree. She is the first one to call, or drop around and visit when things have gone haywire, or you’re having a blue moment. She’s dependable and reliable in any situation and is dedicated to uplifting and encouraging others in times of need. In our lives, she shares both the moments of heartache and the moments of joy - fully! She makes friendship so much sweeter because her vibrant nature speaks volumes for the woman that she is and we are all better off for having her to call friend! Rachel is Loving and Loyal!

So there you have it … I present our beautiful bride … Rachel … Relational, Adventurous, Christ Centred, Heartfelt Helper, Excellent and Effervescent, Loving and Loyal … what more could a man ask for in a wife … Leith … I think you’ve hit the jackpot!! Leith, we welcome you as a cherished friend because Rach loves you and we love Rach!

Finally, Rach – on a personal note, I want to thank you for being such an amazing friend – may this incredible moment in your life be forever unforgettable as a treasured memory, for you deserve every happiness, unconditional and unending love, and the best of the best that life has to offer, and my prayer is that God will bless you and Leith in your marriage in immeasurable doses of goodness, kindness, patience, joy and love for one another.

Rach, I love you heaps and I miss you - I wish the red centre wasn’t so far away, but I know that God, through Leith will care for you, no matter how far you roam, how wide the distance and how long the time apart, for you are one of the dearest friends I have and you are always in my heart!

******

The Happy Couple at dinner the night before the wedding ... meeting Leith for the first time


Great Friends ... share a special moment!


Beautiful Bride ... walking the aisle ...


Mr and Mrs Rapp ... what a great celebration!




Beautiful girls help celebrate the fun!


Me with the happy couple in the far distance ...


Rach & I ... dearest of friends for life!


Stu & Jeanette Harris ... aka ... Mexican Mafia?!


Tree of Love ... and Life

Last Day of 2013

I can't believe it is New Year's Eve 2013 ... where did this year go? Time seems to be accelerating as I age and every year seems to go by faster and faster and I wonder what I did or didn't do and how I could have done things differently.

A New Year is always a chance for new beginnings and new adventures, new friendships and new projects to be planned and completed ... I'm going to endeavor to lead a more meaningful and fulfilled lifestyle in 2014 which will start first of all by drawing closer to God through Jesus Christ and the Word, because without Him, life is meaningless! I will be studying again this year at Entrust through our church which I am so excited about and God willing, I will learn more and more about Him and grow deeper in relationship with Him. I want to be a more devoted friend, a kinder hearted servant and a more loving and caring mum and wife to my beautiful little family. I pray for God's strength in abundance to see the needs of others and help where I am best suited to be of the greatest assistance, to enjoy life to the fullest but most of all, to have gratitude in my own heart every day for the graciousness of God's mercy, the amazing abundance of His love and awe filled inspiration to do what God wills for my life!

I pray you will know God's love, peace and joy in 2014 too!

Many blessings as you celebrate NYE 2013!!

Liam Brodie ... 7 Months Already

Liam Brodie was born on 30 May 2013 and has been an absolute joy and precious addition to our family ... we love him to bits and his smile with those gorgeous double dimples just lights up any room! What an amazing gift from God - we are privileged to have a beautiful baby boy, a son and a brother to Kaylah ... looking forward to 2014 with many more happy times as we love, nurture and encourage these little people in their life journey!

The Storms of Life

Can anyone avoid the "Storms of Life"?

I was contemplating this thought recently whilst being in the middle of a severe weather storm which was unavoidable and completely beyond my control!! It was, to be honest, quite terrifying at times with wind gusts of up to 125kms/hr, rain and debris flying all over the place!

Sometimes, life throws storms our way that are beyond our control, terrifying and completely unavoidable ... how we respond to these storms shapes our character, matures our faith, tests our resolve and strengthens our resilience for the next storm! Sometimes, however, these storms can batter our souls and weaken our ability to push through and overcome the barriers, the hurdles, the obstacles and the trials that come our way and the Storms of Life can rage over and around us for longer than is expected.

But Jesus is Master over every Storm and He can calm the elements that rage within us through His everlasting peace ... we only need to look to the example He gave to His own disciples and strengthen our faith through whatever storm we face!

A Baby Boy ... A Prince

Well what a week it has been ... the birth of a new baby boy, Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge and what a worldwide fuss was made in relation to his arrival!! I have to be honest and say that I was also captivated to see the first pictures of the little Prince but that is where my interest ended for the most part since I have my own little Prince and Princess to keep my attention fairly and squarely in focus!

However, all the attention over this one child's arrival into the world did give me time to pause and ponder on the birth of an even greater Prince who arrived many thousands of years ago and whose birth was in stark contrast to this day and age!! Yes, the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ was born without fanfare, pomp or ceremony apart from a few select Angels, the Shepherds and Wise Men, who were aware of his arrival and yet, the impact that He has had on the world goes far beyond that of any birth that an earthly prince could surpass - even with today's media furore!!

Imagine if we were all captivated in anticipation of Jesus Christ's return in the same way that we watched and waited for news of Prince George's impending arrival ... people put their lives on hold, shops were closed, pubs were opened, people stopped working, people gathered together with friends and loved ones in great celebration, everyone was talking about it, thinking about it, sharing in a piece of history. News reports were suspended with excitement and everyone was desperate to get a mere tit bit of information to be the first one to announce the arrival and tell the world that a Prince or Princess had been born! Mass hysteria of some description albeit sporadically dispersed across the world could be almost tangibly felt and seen ... something BIG was about to happen, something historic, something to remember ... perhaps even something life changing!

So what is all the fuss about really? Is our adoration, objectification and speculation about one baby boy reflective of where society is currently placed? We are still in awe and wonder over the birth of a Prince but for many, they've missed the greatest birth of all humanity in Jesus Christ's arrival and worse still, they will also miss his return and this will have eternal consequences!

Do you know the difference between the Prince of Cambridge and the Prince of Peace and their respective arrivals? Think about it for a moment ... it may truly change your life!

40th Birthday Party

On 13 May 2012, I turned 40 years old ... and although most people freak out at the mere thought of this, I have always been able to embrace my birthday milestones with joy and excitement and thankfulness that God has given me another year of precious life, to live out my dreams and enjoy my loved ones and my lovely friends for just that little bit longer! Some of you weren't able to join us for the event so a friend suggested that I post my speech on my BLOG for all to read ... so here it is ... a tribute and a thank you!

I must also include a BIG thank you to my parents, my brother and his family, my Mum-in-law Des and Brad's whole family who were not at the party so I didn't mention them in what was already a fairly long speech! Nonetheless, my family is so important to me and I feel incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful extended family whom I love and adore and I often wish that we all lived next door to each other so that we could share more of ourselves in each other's daily lives! God has been amazingly gracious in blessing me so richly with such a wonderful family ... and I am so grateful and thankful!

WOW ... firstly, I want to reiterate a big thank you to you all for being here tonight and I must say how fantastic you all look and how excited we are that you could join us to celebrate this momentous occasion and also, this sad farewell! I have to read what I've written as I know I won't make it through without a tear or two and I want to make sure I say everything that needs to be said ... and you'll forgive me if it takes a little longer as a result!

16 years ago, on 24 June 1996, I arrived in Australia and I only knew one person at the time. 10 years ago, I stood in this very room with many of you and celebrated my 30th birthday in similar style and today, I felt I had to take a nutshell look back at some of the major events these last 10 years have brought to my life ... 9 years ago, I became an Aunt for the first time to my sweet nephew Guy, 8 years ago, I became an Australian Citizen, 7 years ago, I went on a life time dream safari to East Africa and I became an Aunt again to my darling niece, Nicola. 6 years ago, I finally capitulated and agreed with God that it was time to be a missionary, 5 years ago, I left Australia for a big ship, the Logos Hope which was to change my life forever! 4 years ago, I met Brad, the love of my life and we got engaged, 3 years ago, I got married to the love of my life and had a fantastic honeymoon in Canada, the USA & Fiji. 2 years ago, miraculously, I fell pregnant and, 1 year ago, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, Kaylah Grace and this year, I'm moving to Perth and turning 40!! And those were just some of the highlights!!

In between and over the past 16 years, I have been incredibly blessed to have met each of you and as a result, we have shared the journey of life together since then. It doesn’t matter whether I've known you for all 16 years or only a few of these years, you have touched my life and made me the person I am today. I sometimes still can't believe how much God has blessed me by surrounding me with people who inspire me, motivate me, encourage me, love and care for me, amuse me, entertain me, and challenge me to be so much more than what I think I can be.

I have to make some special mention of a few people - to my darling husband Brad - the love of my life - I am so grateful that God brought you and ultimately Kaylah into my life. The past 4 years have been a whirlwind of fun and laughter, as well as a few challenges and rough realities, but mostly joyful bliss! Thank you for loving me for who I am, for believing in me, accepting me and all my faults, and for being the most perfect imperfect man to fulfil my life. I am so excited to be going on this next great adventure with you by my side and I know that God has us both firmly in the palm of His hands, and if I can steal a line from Moulin Rouge ... "Come what may, I will love you until my dying day!"

Al & Rory - you have been like family to me for many years and I have treasured the times we have spent talking about life, love and everything else! Watching my beautiful God daughters, Saphy & Kendra and adorable little Ty grow up has been such fun and I'm going to miss being included in your beautiful family dinners and gatherings. Thank you for just being there for me when I needed a sense of my South African roots and for grounding me in solid, Godly and loving advice and guidance when I needed wisdom and discernment.

Jono - You've been like a big brother to me and it has been a privilege to share some hilarious times with you and to receive your Godly insights into so many situations that have come along to challenge and grow our characters. You are a true friend indeed.

Rach, Karen, Ing, Nic & Mia - gorgeous girlfriends who have loved me, served me, been real with me and brought such joy and seasoning to my life. I am going to miss our chats over coffee, dinners and late night laughs over the years!

Charmaine - whilst we have only known each other for such a short time, in reality, I feel like we've had a lifetime of friendship in these past 18 months and the laughs, chats and fun times we've shared have been truly special, especially watching Ruben and Kaylah play together and have such fun! You have become such a dear and cherished friend and I'm going to miss our almost daily coffee catch ups but I know that we will undoubtedly continue to chat by phone or Skype at least 4-5 times a week!!

My bible study group - Ing, Paul, John, Ruth, Jono, Mandy & Paul, Bernd & Nicole, Karen & Stu - what a wonderful group of people to spend time with, grappling over the bible and yearning to know more about God's plan for each of our lives and for this broken world we live in. I am going to truly miss you all so much and will think of you every Tuesday evening and hope that we will continue to share our spiritual journey even from a distance.

Our Mission Prayer Team - Bel, Jim, Kiki, Jules, John, Rach, & Kristan - thank you for the faithful and dear friends you are to us - you have upheld us in prayer so many times, inspired us to draw ever closer to God and to live in His will, not ours, allowed us to be vulnerable and heartfelt in all our times together and inspired us to continually seek God's guidance, and rest in deep dependence and trust upon Him for His ways are higher than ours, His plans so much greater and His strength so much stronger than our faith could ever imagine. We will continue to seek your prayerful faithfulness and intercession in time to come.

Now to all of you who I have not mentioned specifically by name, I am truly grateful and blessed for your friendship and for being able to share a part of my life with you. You have taught me to drink in the joys, soak up the struggles, live in the realities and embrace the beautiful moments that life brings us and my hope is that we will remain in touch via the variety of modern "thingamajigs" available at our techno finger tips!

Sydney is in my heart, Manly and the Northern Beaches are now in my blood and after 14 years, St Matts will always be my spiritual home! I am truly sad to once again be leaving the beautiful spiritual family we have at St Matts ... but I know that moving to Perth is the right move for us - it's the right place for the right reasons and the right time and I can testify that, as God has already shown us, the next chapter of our life journey will also, God willing, continue to be God ordained and spirit led.

In closing, I want you to know that my prayer for each of you is this ... no matter what you do, no matter where you go, no matter who you meet and no matter how far away we may be from each other, that God will shower you with blessings that knock your socks off, that He surprises you each day in ways unexpected and delights you with His faithfulness and unconditional love and that in return, you grow closer to Him, you find peace in life's struggles, joyfulness in your unique journey and happiness in your heart because God is with us all. Most importantly, I pray that we will remain friends for life and on this note, I want to share some very special words from a beautiful song written by Michael W Smith which I spoke at my 21st, my 30th and now my 40th birthday celebrations because they continue to ring true in my life always ...

"Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say Never because the welcome will not end
And though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's Hands we know
That a Life time is not too long, to live as Friends!"

May God bless you so that you can continue to be a blessing to others, may your spiritual journey continue to be seasoned with salty friendships and may your life journey continue to be filled with many good things and especially with good friends!

Simultaneous Duality ... and so much more!

Nothing can prepare me for what lies ahead, nothing can change what has already passed ... however, God can work through both the past and the present and He knows the future ... so I can trust in Him!

I've spent some time reflecting on the last 3 years in Sydney and chatted with Brad about it too ... I realised that there have been so many changes, challenges, highs & lows and now ... I'll be leaving this Sydney life behind and starting a new life in Perth where the possibilities are endless, the potential for new things is inevitable and the ability to embrace this new life is exciting! But I want to hold on ... I want to stay ... I want to be in both places at the same time!

A few nights ago, the movie "Sliding Doors" was shown ... I hadn't seen the movie in years but I just thought how interesting it would be to be able to live your life in simultaneous duality yet be on totally different paths ... and it made me consider my walk with God ... do I live in simultaneous duality in my faith? In one life, my Christian life, I do all the right "christian" things ie. the things that I'm expected to do as a follower of Christ, a true believer in Jesus being my Lord and Saviour ... and in the other life, I'm just a fallen sinful woman who continously does the wrong thing!

I cannot be Christian and non-Christian at the same time ... my choice is clear, I am a Jesus Follower - a Christian and no matter what happens, I cannot be both or neither - the same is true for us all. As we come to reflect on the sacrafice that God made for each of us this Easter, I pray that you might seek to either renew the choice you made to follow Christ or make a new choice to follow Christ for you cannot be both Christian and non-Christian simultaneously. If you believe in Christ Jesus as your Lord and Saviour and embrace eternal life, you are saved by God's grace and mercy and Easter will be a blessed and joyful celebration of God's commitment and promises to you! If you think that going to church makes you a Christian, especially at Easter, you need to really consider the duality of the life you are leading and ask yourself if you truly believe ... and if you can't answer, I urge you to search for the answers that lie deep within your heart ... and let your head catch up!

I believe that living in simultaneous duality is just not feasible and most people who attempt to live two separate lives inevitably end up destroying both of these lives and the longer the deception has continued, the more painful the consequences.

I know that God expects us to live fully in the present, He wants us to benefit from all that He has to offer us in the here and now. He commands that we should not worry about what the future holds, not even worry about what tomorrow will bring and that He will take care of us ... this is his promise to us for always! God wants us to live to our fullest potential, but mostly, I believe that He wants us to know Him more which will enable and empower us to make changes in our lives for His glory!

May this Easter be a time of rejoicing in present blessings, an authentic Christian faith being deepened, strengthened, renewed or made new and a sense of oneness with God for the future is in His hands alone.

Be blessed
xo

Faithfulness ... living with the Faithful One

Over the last 5 years, I have come to experience God's faithfulness in a very tangible way and I am now constantly reminded of how faithful God is in the every day things of life but it is good to be reminded of His faithfulness on a daily basis too and so I wanted to share this.

Since we made a decision to move to Perth, God has just blessed us by opening doors, making connections, reminding us of old friends who we can reunite with in Perth, replenishing our failing finances, providing me with a potential job offer already ... and not just any job but one with Christian sisters and Psychologists who happen to also be South Africans?! Amazing ... although, contracts are not signed yet so I don't want to jump the gun but I am just so moved that despite my painful reluctance to leave Sydney, God has been encouraging us beyond imagination that He is in this move to Perth!! God is so good to us ... I'm humbled and amazed that He would want to be faithful to me when I fall so short of His glory and what He expects of us ... "perfection" - (Matt: 5:48). The beautiful thing is that He always knew that perfection was never to be achieved by any one of us except for His precious son Jesus ... a sinless Saviour who paid the ultimate price of sacrafice so that we might know God for who He really is ... the Faithful One.

I realise that there are so many times when I lack confidence in completely trusting God, and I try to rely on my own understanding and strength, but inevitably I fall over in a heap most of those times wondering where God is when I need Him most! But then I receive a gentle nudge, a bible verse or a daily devotional reading that brings me back to a child like dependence upon God ... for whom else can I turn to in times of trouble or struggle and know that He will always be there ... my true and precious friend, the Faithful One.

I encourage you to listen to and read the lyrics to one of my most favourite songs of all time ... it is called "Faithful One" ... it is truly soul changing and uplifting!

http://youtu.be/IczlW3QlHCs (Copy & Paste into a web page if this doesn't hyperlink)

God can never be unfaithful because He is the Faithful One and He is unchanging, a Rock through the Ages. We can depend on Him, trust in Him, love Him, honour Him, obey Him, seek Him and ultimately, bring glory to Him for his faithfulness endures forever and if you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Saviour, then the power of God's faithfulness is with you today and always until we walk into eternity! I pray you know God's faithfulness in your life always.

Sisters ... A Precious Gift ... and a HUGE decision!!

It's bucketing down with rain ... and I am not a fan of being wet, so it is a great day to be indoors blogging!! I just received an email from a dear friend, Eva and the first line read:

Look at your problems in the light of God's power instead of looking at God in the shadow of your problems

Today is International Women's Day and receiving this email made me want to "shout" out the overwhelming appreciation and love I have for all the women in my life who have, over the years, supported me, encouraged me, listened to me, cried with and for me, prayed with and for me, hugged me, laughed with and at me, rebuked me, taught me and ultimately loved me like the sister I never had. Not many of you may know this, but I was meant to have a little sister ... she would have been 7 years younger than me and she was born the day before my birthday ... but sadly, she was stillborn and was an Angel in heaven long before I even had the opportunity to know her. So I missed out on having a true sister but God has made up for that in abundance throughout my life. I celebrate her life and remember her as I can't help but be reminded of our painful loss the day before my birthday every year. I sometimes covet the friendship and relationships I see between sisters I know and I sometimes try to imagine what it would have been like to have had her in my life. One day we will meet in heaven and then, I will know.

But for now, I thank God for all the other "Sisters" he has placed so strategically in my life. Each and every one at the right time, in the right place, for the right purpose and I have experienced many blessings as a result.

I also have to thank God that I have a really wonderful brother who is very dear to my heart! I'm looking forward to spending some time living near to him and his family and connecting our lives again in a very real way ... which brings me to some breaking news ...

The Newells are moving to Perth!!

Yes, we have finally made a decision to "migrate" to Perth!! It feels like we're moving to another country, it's a HUGE decision and a massive undertaking and I'm terrified, excited, anxious, joyful and heart broken all at the same time! I've been looking for reasons to stay in Sydney and, unfortunately, the reasons to go to Perth outweigh the reasons to stay in Sydney and I am really starting to see God's hand in all this and His perfect timing too!

So when I received Eva's email with that one liner ... it just put everything into sharper focus and broader perspective for me! Over a year ago, unbeknown to us, both Brad and I simultaneously received what can only now be explained as a nudge from God to consider moving to Perth. We discussed it for a while and weighed up the options and I just could not get my head around the idea and refused to even entertain the thought of leaving Sydney again! After all, I feel like I've just arrived home ... but it's been 3 years since I got back from the Logos Hope and it's been a whirlwind 3 years filled with a wedding, a pregnancy, a beautiful baby girl, work, church, reconnecting with friends and finding our place again ... and whilst for the most part those things have been wonderful, amazing and inspiring, there have been many challenges too ... especially financially! Having not earned any income for over 2 years from 2007-2009, and with Brad commencing a new career path, we have, sadly, just "fallen way behind the eight ball" and consequently, Sydney is breaking us and we can't see a way forward here.

Surprisingly enough, or maybe not so, God had to get on the loud speaker and said ... "It's Time to GO ... Vanessa & Brad ... what are you waiting for?"

So how did we get to this point ... well ... in May this year, I will celebrate my 40th birthday, my brother will celebrate his 10th wedding anniversary and my Dad will celebrate his 70th birthday!! So, we had all planned to be together in Perth for a family reunion!! Brad couldn't get the time off in May so we booked our flights for Saturday, 2 June 2012 ... and a return flight for 16 June 2012! But God had other plans!

Last week, we were informed that our landlords have decided to sell our unit. This immediately created the possibility that we would be forced to move elsewhere in Sydney or face a new landlord and a hike upwards in our current weekly rental price! As we are just scraping by in our current situation, we looked around and sadly, found no other options that were any cheaper or more inviting in the rental property market?! This caused us to think about what choices we had regarding our current situation and one thing lead to another and before we knew it, we were talking about potentially moving to Perth again!! I couldn't believe it ... I felt trapped and frustrated and initially very defiant that I would not be broken by Sydney and sent off to Perth unwillingly. I was just in the process of getting my private psychology practice up and running but unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of waiting out the time that it takes to be really successful as there is too much uncertainty. We also didn't think it was fair to throw Kaylah into full time day care, albeit we are delighted and so thankful to God for her current family day carer, Jan who is really wonderful with her ... but then I would be working full time to pay for her day care and that still would not get us ahead of where we really need to be in order to sustain ourselves financially?! In the interim, just prior to all this happening, my parents put their property on the market and sold it within a few weeks ... and this changed their circumstances too! So suddenly, their holiday in May was now no longer just a holiday but their final date for immigration to Australia ... no return!!

Now, to cut a long story short, we discussed some things with them which would ease our financial burden ... and then Brad & I talked long into the night and weighed up all our options and at the end of it all ... we made a HUGE and dare I say very painful decision to move to Perth as the best long term solution to everything. I cried many tears then, and since ... I'm crying now as I write this and will no doubt cry many more before we leave ... I'm heart broken but I know this is what is best for us as a family. We will, hopefully, if all things work out the way we are anticipating, free ourselves from financial hardship, alleviate debt, afford to purchase a house and own something bigger than the unit we currently rent, be closer to my family whom I haven't lived near for nearly 20 years but sadly still far from Brad's family and build a new life for ourselves. There are many altruistic benefits to our decision which includes that we will be sharing a property with my parents so that we can help them out as much as they will be helping us out. Ultimately, we aim to find a suitable property which has two fully self contained areas so that we can live side by side. They will take on the role of full time carers for Kaylah so that Brad & I can work full time and if, in the future, we are blessed with a new addition to our little family which is our desire, then I will have hands on help right at my doorstep! Of course, there will continue to be many challenges and difficulties to overcome but these things will provide the pepper and salt in our lives, will season our lives and makes us stronger, more resilient and more dependent on our faithful God in heaven. So now the process begins of sorting, culling, throwing away, tearing my hair out at all the stuff I've accumulated over the 16 years or so that I've lived in Sydney and making plans to move thousands and thousands of kilometres across this vast desert country!

We have seen God's hand in this decision and as soon as we had made it, changes started to happen for us financially ... it has been quite extraordinary!! God is so faithful and if only I could have a measure of His faithfulness, I think my life would have less worries, less burdens and more trust and dependence on Him in every situation. So this is why I loved the quote from Eva ... read it again ...

"Look at your problems in the light of God's power instead of looking at God in the shadow of your problems!"

So ... my 40th birthday party has now morphed into also being a Farewell Party ... and our actual date of departure is Saturday, 2 June 2012. I console myself with the knowledge that I'm only a 4-5 hour flight away from Sydney, that there will hopefully be cheap flights for friends to visit us and once we are financially more stable, for us to return and visit my beloved Sydney which holds so many of my dearest and closest friends in the palm of it's hands!

Please pray with us that God will grant us peace and a safe move to Perth, that we will find the right property for all of us, that Brad and I will find suitable jobs, that Kaylah will adjust to a new life and that my heart will heal from the hurt I feel at having to leave Sydney ... forever this time! I found a little card which I used to carry in my wallet and it just spoke volumes to me about God's faithfulness in all things ... great and small ...

"Prayer is asking for rain and faith is carrying an umbrella" - Barbara Johnson

2012 always felt like a big year of change in many respects but this has to be the most unexpected, surprising, yet painful but, once I warm up to it ... exciting change of our lives ... we're moving to PERTH!!!